Room 203, Wednesday Evening

[nothornlessrose]

It was probably a good thing that Cassidy hadn't been given a new roommate after Hiccup left because currently there were books and notebooks everywhere. Hiccup's bed had been pushed against the far wall and tilted up on its end and there were her two trunks against the bed and books and other things were spilling out of them haphazardly. In the middle of this chaos sat Cassidy.

She was in the middle of the floor, focusing completely on the book that was opened in her lap. She was positive that somewhere in her Craft books and the histories and the books of Protocol -- or even in her notebooks from notes while with tutors -- there had to be an explanation or guidance for how to deal with what had happened on Saturday night. She was convinced that there had to be. After all, she was almost sure that a Queen had to be higher in rank than the males of her court, and she was certainly not higher than Ranon of Shalador.

In one corner, was a pile of quills, pens and colored pencils. They were in a pile because she wasn't going to throw books when she got frustrated about not finding the guidance she was looking for.

Yes, she could have gone immediately to Karla, but she wanted to at least try to find her own answers about Ranon and the Protocol about what she had done to start forming her Court. She hadn't planned on forning a Court so soon, but she had wanted to make sure that there was no suspicion from Shira or Ranon about what kind of Queen she was and that she wasn't going to do anything to hurt them.

It was probably good that she had thought to put a yellow shield around the room -- but any one with a darker Jewel than hers would probably be able to come right in. Her psychic scent and the emotions that she was loosing in the room as she focused hard on the questions she suddenly had to find answers to.

Possibly she should have just gone to Karla first because she was really frustrated and the more she read and studied, the more confused and frustrated she was beginning to get.

Mother Night, she needed answers.


[OOC: For one. That they talked is okay to know. What they talked about is NFB right now.]]

Comments

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

No no. If Cassidy had felt that kind of pull from Morton, she would either be hiding under the bed or she would have already left to hide back in Dharo. She was still trying to deal with her interest in a male, but right now there were priorities.

Cassidy finally looked up from her book to look at Karla. "Saturday night after I left my mother at the hotel I was on my way back here. I heard arguing and I recognized Shira. I went to make sure she was okay and... there was a Warlord Prince with her." She ran a hand through her hair. "There was this strong pull between us -- even he felt it. He's mine, Karla, but I don't understand how. Prince Ranon isn't even from Kaeleer and he outranks me already! How can I hold his leash?!"

It was pretty obvious that Cassiy had never expected to feel that connection, ever.

[glacial_queen]

Karla would have traveled to Dharo to find her. Just saying. Interest in her cousin? Fair. Really weird, but fair. Poaching? NOT ON.

Karla listened to Cassidy explain what happened with Ranon, nodding slightly. It helped that she'd just dealt with the same thing not so long ago, so she understood Cassidy's surprise and feelings of disorientation, even moreso if she were to just rattle off something she'd read in a book or learned from her mother.

"First of all," she said, gently but with the slightest hint of asperity, "this has nothing to do with Jewel rank. Yes, he outranks you. That doesn't matter. You're a Queen, Cassidy. There's more to you than what Jewel you wear. You hold his leash because you'll be able to balance him and keep him stable. That has nothing to do with how powerful you are and everything to do with who you are."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

Cassidy let out a breath. "I've heard about and been taught about holding someone's leash, but I've never felt anything like what I felt when I met Ranon. I thought that a Queen had to outrank the members of her Court?" No one had exactly told her that, but no one had told her differently, either. She was confused about how she would be able to balance anyone and it was obvious. She moved the book off of her lap and pulled her knees up under her chin. "Does it always feel like that -- like the ground just disappeared out from beneath you? Because, I'm really not sure I can handle feeling that eleven more times to form my Court when it's time."

The connection between her and Ranon had scared her at first. True her brother was always there to aid her back home, but that was because he was blood and her brother. Their connection was something different because they were family. Ranon was a stranger and she had almost been knocked off her feet by the recognition between them. Now she was just worried she was going to do something wrong and people would get hurt in the process.

[glacial_queen]

Karla shook her head. "You're operating under a lot of misapprehensions," she said quietly. "I know you're the only Queen to have been born to your village in a while, but surely your District Queen ought to have sent some books along or something." She rose and began pacing, resolving to tell Aaron and Sabrina about Cassidy, so they would be aware of their Cassidy's existence.

"First of all, you might not get that same feeling with every member of your Court," she explained. "Even your First Circle. It's what every Queen would like, of course, but there's no guarantee that you'll feel that bond with everyone."

Later, when Cassidy set up her Court in Bhak, Karla would feel horribly guilty about what happened. Not having that bond didn't necessarily mean settling.

"And no Queen has to outrank her Court. It can be helpful if you do, but it isn't necessary. Cassidy, what makes a Queen a Queen has little to do with her Jewel." She chewed on her lip a little. "It worries me that you trust yourself so little because you wear the Tigers Eye."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

Cassidy was quiet as she listened to what Karla was saying. In fact, Karla had almost all of her attention. She did make sure that she put up a shield around her room again. While she wouldn't mind certain people knowing what they were talking about, she was still cautious enough to not want everyone to know her business.

"Ranon agreed to serve me, even though he doesn't know me enough to trust me," she said carefully. "I get the idea that the Queens he has known have not been good Queens, but I don't understand how he could only know bad ones. We agreed that we would try to learn more about each other, and that I would never ask him for anything just because of the bond."

She looked up at Karla. "Karla, I know what I am and what I am not. I don't expect to ever be the Queen of a territory and that has never bothered me. I just want to be a damn good Queen and make things better for wherever I end up needed. I'm not a pretty girl and I'm not a powerful witch, but I know that I can be a good Queen and take care of my people if I continue to study my Craft and my Protocol... and if you still think you can teach me your Craft, I think I can do better." She chewed on her lip. "I am now having opportunities to learn more things than I ever thought I could learn. I just don't want to let the people that I care about down in any way."

[glacial_queen]

"I talked to him, the first day. I noticed a strange Warlord Prince at the picnic, of course I had to speak to him," Karla said slowly. "Some of the things he told me were...disturbing. But this is why I asked you to be careful around Shira. Just because Terreille is so very different from us and...the things I hear...they scare me."

She sighed, going to sit near to Cassidy. "You can be a good Queen, Cassidy. I don't doubt you at all. Your face and Jewels don't matter, Cassidy. All that matters is your heart and your determination, both of which you have in spades."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

"My brother tends to get upset when anything about my lack of beauty is said. I try not to worry how I look, but Karla, a beautiful Queen has more a chance forming a strong court. She has more ways for them to love or need to be with her, I wasn't ever expecting something like that would happen with me." She ran a hand through her hair. "I want to be a good Queen and be able to help people." She sighed.

"I felt that pull from Ranon and I could feel his desire to protect. He doesn't.. didn't serve in a court. He's in love with Shira." She swallowed.

[glacial_queen]

"Cassidy..." Karla groaned. "Yes, we'd all like to be beautiful. You would, I would, every female in this dorm would like to be beautiful, save the ones who already are. And, you know, I don't know if I'd be any happier if I looked like Emma Frost, but Darkness knows I wouldn't mind giving it a shot."

She lifted her head to try to clasp Cassidy's hands with hers. "But any male who looks at his Queen like a prize bitch to show off isn't a male who deserves to serve in a Court, regardless of his Circle. A strong Court is drawn to a Queen's heart--why do you think we're called that? We heal our people, we care for the land. That is what draws good males, like bees to a flower. Not a pretty face, not charming manners or fancy dresses."

Karla arched an eyebrow Cassidy's way. "Why do you think you hold Ranon's leash? It wasn't desire--as you say, he loves Shira. He didn't get dazzled by your Jewels, he outranks you. And yet? He's yours Cassidy, in a way you can't argue against."

[nothornlessrose.livejournal.com]

"Emma is gorgeous," Cassidy said in agreement as she clasped hands with Karla. "And she has confidence to go with it. I've never seen anyone move like she does. I think it'd be great to look a little bit like her."

She gave a faint smile. "Poppi says that anyone who doesn't want to serve me is blind and doesn't have the right to be called Blood. But that's my father and a father's opinions aren't really non-biased. I love the land, Karla, and I want to do what's best for my people -- if I ever have them. And Darkness knows I don't like dressing up in fancy clothes unless I have to." She blew out a breath.

"He doesn't trust me, but he wanted to protect me. I could feel that from him. He was just as surprised as I was to feel it. He said that what I did for Shira went a long way towards working towards trust." She squeezed Karla's hand and looked at her. "I'm frightened. Not that he belongs to me, I didn't feel like he would do anything to harm me even if he wasn't sure of the pull. I'm afraid that I'm going to let them down or not be strong enough to protect them or care for them. Something is really wrong where they come from and that's why they were so surprised by me."